OMG...It's totally an earthquake...or something.

OK, the wife called me out.

IF you live under a rock (or outside the Portland area), there was a "massive" 3.8 earthquake on August 3rd in an area just outside of Portland. We did not feel it, but others did. It was quite the news story.
Here are some of my favorite user experiences from the KGW blog, with some comments from me:

"Hi. Just thought I'd let you know that the quake tonight was actually the kind that makes noise. I thought something was crashing into the house, like a semi or a train. I live in an old house in Hazel Dell. I don't feel like sleeping now! It hit so fast that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I mean it. It only seemed to last for about 10 seconds. It actually felt like the house was being shaken in an up & down motion."

OH...It was THAT kind! Screw the Richter scale...we have a new measurement!

"I woke up to the house shaking and thought it was my son and his buddy down stairs messing around. I went down stairs and my son comes out of the bath room and says "Did you fell that. What was that?" "an earth quake?"

UH..."Messing around?" What on earth were THEY doing? Category 11:Brokeback Earthquake

"We woke up to the dogs barking (actually freaking out quite nicely) and a very big rumbling. Our house shook a LOT and the noise was unmistakable! Well actually, we weren't sure if it was an Earthquake or if Mount St. Helens had blown a good one! The coincidence of this is that my sister (in Sonoma, CA) experienced an earthquake just yesterday afternoon!"

Good thing the weren't freaking out badly...I heard that shortly after Mt St Helens was smoking a cigarette...What was you sister doing?

"In Tualatin... I thought my spouse had rolled over... but how did the closet doors bang together??? must have been the quake! I did make note of the clock, too.. 1:40am. Case closed!"

It must be the aliens! CLOSET DOORS! If your spouse "rolling over" causes that kind of rumbling...WOW!

"In Lake Oswego we woke to our bed rocking and rolling and pictures rattling the walls at 1:40am"

Now I think this person is just bragging.

"My husband and I woke up to it. We too had a bunch of kids staying the night in the basement and thought that it had to be them. It just felt like a sudden thud. Shortly after 1 a.m. for us, and we are in the downtown area of Vancouver. Boys left us a note that there had been an earthquake which apparently they read about on My Space."

Then we ate their livers with a nice Chianti....slurp slurp slurp

"We live in Fishers Landing area. Both me and my husband woke up at the same time 1:40 AM because our bed was shaking. I looked at him and looked at me and we both went back to sleep. I couldn't sleep anaymore and was wondering if it was an quake."

Riveting front line news!

"I was awakened this morning at 1:39 am by a shaking of my bed, and my mini blinds in my master bedroom windows rattling against the workwork. I thought I had dreamed it, but it also woke up my son. This morning, I checked on the interet, and there it was posted- the epicenter near Cherry Grove, which is about 2 miles from my house. WOW! I live in BattleGround."

Who knew that is where my house is! AMAZING!

"A few minutes before the earthquake shook the cats and the raccoons were really making a vocal fuss outside, didn't think much of it at the time. Then as the earthquake hit, it sounded like a large gust of wind hitting the side of our house and my bamboo plant moved from east to west (give or take a few degrees)."

What were the cats and racoons doing together to cause a "fuss"? And why do you have your bamboo plotted in degrees?

"I live in Scappoose and felt the quake, it felt like a wave, my dog just happened to be awake and laid flat on the kitchen floor"

Are you sure he was alive?

"I thought someone had ran their car into the side of my house, it shook that hard. Like four really hard,sharp jerking motions. I've lived here all my life, and this was definitely something different! I don't want to do this again! No wonder people leave California..."

I thought it was the overcrowding and housing prices...apparently it's the hard, sharp jerking motions.

"Live here in West Linn and definitely was awoken at 1:40...
Is that possible?"

Philosophers have been asking that question for hundreds of years...

"My husband and I were awakended from sleep by the quake. When checking on our 3 girls, who were also awake, we asked our middle one if she felt it, she replied, "Oh, is that what it was, I thought it was just sissy's hampster hitting the wall again"!"
You there, MIDDLE-ONE...was that an earthquake or have you three been playing racquet-hampster again?!

Oops, I did it again!

Sorry to quote Britney, but I just realized my big plans for getting on a regular blogging schedule have failed. I'm afraid we're chasing away the few readers we have, due to lack of posting. I'm really sorry, I'm trying - but things are really busy. I mean, I come home from work and I have so much TV and computer stuff to catch up on. What am I, Superwoman? I mean I can't do it all!!!!

Wait, that's not a good enough excuse. I know, it's the heat. I practically have heatstroke from these last few weeks of hotness. And on one of the hottest days of the year, Rick dragged me around town to take pictures. That took a whole week of recuperation. You can't expect me to blog after an experience like that can you? (Actually, it was quite fun. You can see some pictures from our day here...)

And hey, since I'm sitting here berating myself for not posting, it just hit me. You know what? The title of this blog is Views from Two. Hmmm, how long has it been since you've heard the views of the other "Two"? I'll tell you, it was way back in April. (To be fair, I've only posted twice since then but still.)

It reminds me of the time Rick said "Hey let's do a puzzle together," as he proceeded to pull a 1,000 piece mosaic Mickey Mouse puzzle off the store shelf. It was all good until the border was put together and the yellow shoes and red shorts were finished. Then suddenly football got more interesting than the puzzle. And the rest of the puzzle, all the blue stuff, yeah, I had to finish that. But I'm not bitter, I just don't like mosaic puzzles anymore.

Post Peep Daze

So over a month has passed since our last post, and I've just awoken from a Peep induced slumber. It didn't help that for my birthday, my sister and her family gave me copious amounts of peeps - just when I thought I had run out. So in an effort to catch you up on our goings on in May, I'll give you a quick run down of the highlights.

Went to Seattle
Saw a play that was lit by my FIL (Father in Law for you non-acronym knowing people. I spend way too much time on post wedding boards! Ack!)
My Birthday - Wow! I'm getting old! (But Rick will always be older! Ha Ha Ha.)
Took a ferry to San Juan Island.
Drove around said island and discussed plans to quit jobs and move to the island and live there forever.
Got drunk at a wine tasting while waiting to take the Ferry back.
Drunkenly laughed at a small child on a bicycle, free-basing pixie-stiks and riding his bike into traffic.
Laughed at the same child on the ferry as his pixie-stik induced sugar high had him running back and forth from one end of the boat to another.
Laughed as the same child fell off the boat.
(Just kidding, we didn't laugh.)
Rick got a new camera and has taken many, many photos. Some of which you can view here.
I'm sure many other exciting things happened in May, but I can't think of any right now. I just wanted to get another post up, so I could stop feeling so darn guilty.
We'll try to get back to a regular posting schedule one of these days!

P.S. The little kid didn't really fall off the boat. But I bet I made you gasp out loud!

Happy Easter Peeps!

Oh joyous day...Lent has ended and Easter has arrived! I am happy to report with the exception of a few slip-ups, I have succeeded in my Lenten promise and find that today I am much less the swearing sailor that I was 40 days ago. Easter also finds me happily full of Peeps! Oh Peeps! How I love your marshmellowy, sugary goodness. And, my darling husband is frightened of them, so that box of Peeps my parents gave us yesterday, are mine...all mine. (Except for the one little Peep that I will slip under Rick's pillow to scare him!)

It's funny how divided people are when it comes to the topic of Peeps. At work, there are only two of us in my department who have a true love for Peeps. She and I buy multiple boxes at after Easter sales and share with each other during the long days of Spring and Summer when there is nary a Peep in sight. And lucky for me, she has perfected the science of making stale Peeps. (If you've never had slightly stale Peeps, you are missing out on a Peep perfected.) A stale Peep has been exposed ever so slightly to the air, for about two weeks, and becomes a crunchy/chewy version of it's former self. Yum!

Oh! And there's one more reason I love Peeps. These sweet, little chicks and bunnies, realize the importance of research and often donate their little bodies in the name of science. (Peep Research) How could you not love such a generous and giving candy?

Bunnies are Deadly>Killer Rabbit<

Sorry for the neglect...we've been em...busy. Yeah, that's it.

This is quick but I needed to post this. It's festive and timely, plus it just might get my wife to blog about the scariest thing about this time of the year. Hint, small, gooey, sugar, scary, colourful...yuck.

Easter Bunny Exposed!

Many of you may have seen this, but I still enjoy it.

Hi to my buddy in Ireland. Yes, I read your blog too!
We love ya...have fun and drink much beer.

SPRING!!!!

It's true! My second favorite season of the year is here! Spring, wonderful Spring. And the weather today was just about perfect, sunny, yet still crisp. Absolutely delightful.

Unfortunately, the inauguration of Spring has also brought a few unwelcome guests to our home... Ants...the littlest of pests. At least they are not spiders, that would totally freak me out. Happily, I can report that they reside only under our couch, and not in our kitchen or other areas. I have no idea why they would, or how they could, get into our house via the wall behind the couch, but it does make for an easy place to stick ant traps, where the cats can't get at them. Hopefully, in a few days, the ants will have gone to that special place where ants who eat poison go. (The neighbors! ) Ha Ha Ha!

When I think about ants, I am reminded of a story my sister shared with me about setting up an ant farm a couple of years ago. When you order the ants with the farm, the instructions suggest you put the ants in the freezer for a few minutes to stun them before putting them into the farm. (Shh, don't tell PETA.) The directions would also be wise to suggest you to set up the farm before any children enter the classroom. Unfortunately, my sister was not privy to this little bit of advice.

So, with her kindergarten class in front of her, my sister takes the ants out of the freezer and opens the container intending to pour the stunned ants into the farm. As any professional ant farmer could tell you, it takes quite a bit of time to stun an ant using the freezer, so instead of peacefully falling into the farm, the ants swarm out of the container and proceed to go everywhere except into the farm. After several unsuccessful tries to collect the ants and put them in the farm, my sister was forced to stand up and tell the class, "I'm just letting you know, I'm killing them now!" And proceeded to stomp around and kill all the escapee ants, to the horror of the 20 five-year-olds sitting in front of her. To my knowledge, none of those children had any permanent trauma from the experience. But, I'm pretty sure that memory will come back to haunt them one day.

So here's wishing you a shiny, happy spring --- free from unfrozen ants.

Mired in self pity

Today it happened again.
I received a rejection letter. My poetry has been given the verbal equivalent of the big giant stage hook.
Not only has my poetry not been asked into the club, but it was requested that it move out of the roped off area. Maybe it's the velour jumpsuit? So tonight I am mired in a swamp of self pity and morose. It won't last too long, just long enough for me to question every talent I thought I had.
I should focus my brain on solving the time travel issue. I'd like to fire up the ol’ DeLorean, rev her up to 88mph and whoosh...off to the past.
First stop, unknown publishing house.
Target, the first editor or reader-of-slush that thought it was a good idea to send out generic rejection letters.
Method, general harassment by vicious paper cuts and strategic use of lemons.
There, done. Back to the future with me.
The world is a happier place now!
OK, so I'm not going to do that.
I just wish that the letters, postcard in this case, you receive from a publisher was more personal than:

"Dear Writer;
Piss off and stop troubling us with your drivel. We have much better things to do with our time than read your garbage. For instance, on the day your collection of poetry arrived, we were having a spirited nerf gun battle in the office. I actually had to take time away from office warfare to open your envelope long enough to get the SASE out and stuff it with this letter...er...postcard.
Best of luck placing your work elsewhere (perhaps they won't play nerf there).
Sincerely,
Literary Journal that will never publish you.

p.s. Thanks to you, I now have a suction cup dart stuck to my forehead."

OK, so I'm paraphrasing.

Well, as I have chosen this particular activity in which to try and succeed, I guess I should stop all this crybaby crap and get writing.
I'll send more word slop out, and perhaps I'll hit the next editor during a break in the nerf season.

YAY, 1st rejection letter of 2006!!! WooT@#$!$#
See, I'm getting better already.
All you can do is make fun of these things. I'm pretty sure Mark Twain even got rejection letters. Yeah, don't go check that, just trust me, HE DID, JUST LIKE ME!!!

So every thing will be ok.

BTW…MANY thanks to my wonderful wife who has to live with me during these foot stomping stages. And you thought Fish Friday’s were tough to live with.